Restitution and a bank robbery

On the way to the store to buy bubble gum to make restitution for what had been stolen and eaten, Son Y was not satisfied that justice was being done.

"You're punishing me for something I didn't know was wrong," he said strongly.

Now I knew that he knew stealing was wrong, so I suggested, "What you mean is you didn't know you would have to make restitution if you stole the bubble gum, right?"

"Right! I shouldn't be punished twice for the same thing," he said with a frown.

Now, of course, I agree someone shouldn't be punished twice for their wrong. And, I'm also very sensitive to the biblical concern for justice. If there is anything Proverbs harps on besides wisdom, it's justice, righteousness, and equity (Prov. 1:3; 2:8-9; 8:15, 20; 11:1; 12:5; 16:11; 17:15, 23; 19:28; 20:8; 21:3, 7, 15; 28:5; 29:4, 26). Particularly, in authorities (Prov. 8:15; 20:8; 29:4).

How to help Son Y realize that I'm not double punishing him, and it is just for him to make restitution? ...

So I said: Son, that's like a man who robbed a bank telling the judge: "You can't sentence me to 5 years in prison!" When the judge asks why not, the man says, "I didn't know that robbing a bank carried a five year prison sentence. I thought I just had to give the money back."

To which the judge questioned: "Did you know it was wrong to rob the bank?" "Yes, I knew that." "Well, then, since you chose to do wrong, you have to suffer the consequences whether you knew what they were or not."

Son, since you knew it was wrong to steal, you have to take all the consequences of stealing, which includes restitution.

... silence ...

That must have made sense to him, since he doesn't give up his case easily. That was my best, on-the-fly shot at helping him understand that some sins have extended consequences.

Any ways you've helped your kids understand the justice of restitution?

Lord Garmadon and Proverbs 24:1

At lunch on Monday Daniel announced to the couple sitting with our family: "Daddy found a verse about Lord Garmadon!"

In order to appreciate that announcement, you need a little background. This Spring, Allan came home from first grade excited about Ninjago, a newly released set of Lego characters. It was/is all the rage!

Lord Garmadon, according to Lego's wiki, is the wicked king of the Underworld whose weapon of choice is deceit. His brother, Sensei Wu, and his ninjas are trying to stop him from destroying Ninjago.

Whatever big brother brings home, younger brother drinks in like water to a thirsty camel. It wasn't long before I began to hear, like an interminable mantra, "Sensei Wu and Lord Garmadon" coming from Daniel's mouth everywhere he went around the house.

It didn't seem to matter that he had no first hand knowledge of these toys. He was captivated. I looked up the names he was repeating and wasn't pleased. Figures of darkness are not acceptable objects of focus for my boys. But how to dislodge it?

Sometime last week, I read Proverbs 24 in my personal worship time. Verse 1 reads, "Do not be envious of evil men, nor desire to be with them."

So I announced at breakfast: "Boys, I found a verse about Lord Garmadon!" Their eyes got big. Really!? What is it?

After I read the verse, Allan's face fell. Daniel wanted to know what 'envious' meant.

I pressed home the point: "A wise boy does not want to be like evil people, doesn't pretend to be evil, doesn't even want to be around evil men."

"That's why you are not allowed to pretend to be Lord Garmadon. He is evil. The Bible tells us not to make evil men our heros (i.e., those we are envious of or want to be like)."

That's about all I said. Apparently, that's all it took to make an impression on Daniel. That discovery was worth announcing publicly! "Daddy found a verse about Lord Garmadon!"

I haven't heard the mantra again, but if/when I do, we'll review Proverbs 24:1.

Proverbs 11:1, Black Clouds, and Hosea 8:7

This morning I came to breakfast planning to talk about Proverbs 11:1 with my boys.

Proverbs 11:1 A false balance is an abomination to the LORD, But a just weight is His delight.

I was going to talk about the importance of honesty, why God hates dishonesty, and reinforce the standard "Woe be unto you if you tell a lie!" speech that I heard many times as a kid and have integrated into my child rearing.

The boys were really sleepy at breakfast so I thought I'd let them listen in to me talk to Marianne about this verse. I quoted it and then asked her what she thought it meant.

Almost immediately after she said, "God hates dishonesty," she looked out the window and exclaimed about the really black clouds that were billowing into Cincinnati from the West. That led to a comment about tornado warnings, and the boys were off and running asking questions about tornadoes.

So much for Proverbs 11:1!

Rather than insist upon my previous plan; however, I shifted gears and quoted Hosea 8:7 (No, I couldn't remember the reference this morning, just the first half of the verse!).

They [the wicked] sow the wind and reap the whirlwind [a tornado]

Why not capitalize on little boys' fascination with tornadoes? So we talked about how a little sin reaps big problems. You breath out a few disrespectful words and a tornado descends on you (in the form of a wrathful parent).

I want my boys to know you can't sin and get away with it. Sow a wind, reap a whirlwind!

Proverbs at Breakfast: 29:15 today

Proverbs is a parent's book. It contains the inspired instructions from a wise parent to children. As such it not only instructs the parent personally, but models for the parent how to instruct a child.

Since "wisdom is the principal thing" (Prov. 4:7), I want my boys to gain wisdom. To that end, I plan to read a verse or more from Proverbs each day. Using the chapter that corresponds to the day's date, makes it easy, ensures variety, and keeps us moving.

Today's chapter is Proverbs 29, and I choose v. 15 as this morning's verse

Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.

As is typical for ages 4-6, key words need defining. I asked, "Daniel, what is reproof?" "I don't know."

So I offer a definition: reproof is when someone tells you that what you're doing is wrong.

I asked, "Allan, what is wisdom?" He answered, "Doing what I'm told with a happy, submissive attitude?" ... "That's what obedience is. And it is wise to be obedient!"

"Wisdom," Marianne said, "is thinking God's way." I can work with that definition. (A six year old doesn't have to be able to quote the full definition Dad gives in Wisdom Lit.: "Wisdom is the skill or ability of viewing life and all its components from God's perspective and keeping the proper focus.")

So, I say, "That's right. Wisdom is thinking God's way, and that's what Daddy and Mommy are trying to teach you to do, when we correct you."

Obviously, there's a good deal more to say about this verse, but that was enough for this morning. Line upon line ...