Tattling and Matt. 18:15

"I'm telling!!! .... Daddy ...!" If you have kids old enough to know right and wrong and talk, then you've probably heard those words.

If you're like me, you get tired of hearing about every real or perceived misdemeanor. Really tired!

However, there is no verse that says, "Thou shalt not tattle." In fact, just the opposite is true. Scripture commends, even commands, reporting wrong doing to proper authorities (Lev. 5:1; Matt. 18:15-17; 1 Tim. 5:19-20).

But, there is a biblical process. The biblical process is not See a sin > report to authorities. The biblical process is see a sin > rebuke your brother (Matt. 18:15; Luke 17:3) > assist in appropriate restitution (Gal. 6:1). If the brother will not repent, then report it to 1 or 2 who are qualified to serve as arbitrators (that's us parents).

So, I implemented this process several weeks ago. I sat the boys down and had a conversation something like this:

Daddy: Boys, the Bible says, if your brother sins against you, you are to explain to him that he did wrong and ask him to repent. If he repents, you must forgive him.

Boy: So if Brother A hits me, I'm supposed to tell him he needs to repent?

Daddy: Yes, that's right. He needs to say, I'm sorry for hitting you, please forgive me. If he repents, you must forgive him.

Boy: But what if he doesn't repent?

Daddy: Then you come tell Daddy and I will deal with it. If he does repent, then you don't need to come tell me.

It seemed simple enough, but it quickly became more complex. There are certain rules that I want to know about any infraction regardless of whether there was repentance or not.

I can immediately think of ways to abuse this biblical principle: big brother hits little brother, then repents, and insists that little brother can't tell parents, OR little brother commits serious infraction, is confronted, repents, and then insists that mom and dad don't need to know about it.

I'm still working on how to explain when I need a report about wrong-doing and when I don't need a report.

Anybody figure out a clear grid that is easy for 4-7 year olds to apply? All suggestions welcome.

As you walk along the way: name calling

I overheard the boys calling each other names last evening before family worship. Viola! The topic for family worship: the image of God in us.

James 3:9-10 says, "With [our tongue] we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; 10 from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way."

I explained that God made Allan in His image, so when Daniel calls Allan names, he is actually calling God's image names.

It's like having a picture of Mommy in your hand. After you tell Mommy you love her and give her a kiss, then you take the picture and say all kinds of nasty things to it. Or you tear it up in little pieces.

How does that show that you love Mommy? It doesn't, right.

Daniel is a picture of God too. If Allan calls Daniel names, then he is calling God's image names.

I'm not sure it stuck, but it's line upon line. That's the first line, I'm sure there will be plenty of "along the way" opportunities to repeat it.

What's the most important thing in all the world?

At least once a week, sometimes more often, I ask my boys: "What's the most important thing in all the world?"

The rehearsed answer is "Loving and serving Jesus!" (cf. Deut. 6:5)

Then I ask, "What's the second most important thing in all the world?"

Answer: "Loving and serving other people." (cf. Lev. 19:18)

This simple catechism reinforces Matt. 22:37-40. There is nothing in life that does not hang upon Loving God and Loving others.

Yesterday, when I asked Daniel the first question, he ran them both together: "Loving and serving Jesus and loving other people."

When I insisted that we have to serve other people, he balked: "Why do we have to serve other people?" And that led to a discussion of Jesus as the greatest servant and his statement, "If anyone would be great among you, let him be the servant of all."

Numbers 6:24-26 and Psalm 67:1-2 -- Blessed to Bless

Sometime last week, during my daily devotions I read Psalm 67. The first two verses immediately struck me as reminiscent of the priestly blessing in Num. 6, which I quote over my boys most every morning.

1 God be gracious to us and bless us, And cause His face to shine upon us-- Selah.
2 That Your way may be known on the earth, Your salvation among all nations.

What struck me about this text is that it explains the purpose of God's blessing: so that His "way" and "salvation" may be known throughout the world. In other words, this is a missionary blessing.

It's not about me and my kids getting and getting, but about God blessing us so that we may be a blessing to the world! What a great text!

So, I printed it up and put it on the fridge. For the last week, we've been saying it together as a family after I say the Num. 6:24-26 blessing. My goal is that all of us will have these two verses memorized so that when I pronounce the blessing, the family responds with this prayer that God will make us channels through which His name is known to the world around us.

I can envision a future time when we will explore as a family the meaning of God's "way," what it means to "know" God's way as well as His salvation, and how all this relates to praying for God to bless us so we can be a blessing.

Talk of them when you sit in your house

Deuteronomy 6:7 says You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house ...

The "them" in the verse is God's commandments, or more generally, his word.

Breakfast is one of the times we sit in our house together, so it is a prime time to implement this aspect of Deut. 6:7. One of the ways I do this at breakfast is by quoting Numbers 6:24-26.

24 The LORD bless you, and keep you;
25 The LORD make His face shine on you, And be gracious to you;
26 The LORD lift up His countenance on you, And give you peace.'

My chosen method of doing this is to place my hands upon my sons' heads and then recite the verses. As I say "May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you," I lift my hands off their heads and then bring them back down on the "give you peace."

My boys have taken to grabbing my hands and seeing if they can keep me from lifting them up. At first I just lifted the boys off their seats as they held fast onto my hands. Can't do that anymore!