The Devil's Been Talking To Me

When our oldest son was two and a half years old we had a conversation that will forever mark a change in my parenting thinking. Somehow in the everyday training I kept thinking that if you instill the right principles, diligently teach doctrine and create a loving, nurturing environment in which they can explore and grow then somehow, with much of God's grace at work, these children will be able to withstand attacks of the enemy when they come .... somewhere down the road.

We were traveling home from a family gathering when Philip asked our oldest, "Allan, what has God been saying to you recently?" (I highly recommend doing this for numerous reasons - they recognize that God is a person who wants to have fellowship with them, God is a personal God who is very interested in every aspect of their lives, God can talk to them about problems they are having that aren't readily apparent to us as parents but they let us know things to be watching for.) Allan replied on this occasion by saying that God really hadn't been saying a whole lot (which sometimes happens). There was a pause and then he said, "But the devil's been talking to me." He said it so matter of fact that I was stunned - he's only two and a half!

We hadn't really talked about a theology of the devil other than he's the one who tempts us to do wrong. Philip, who was driving, reached over and turned off the music we'd been listening to. "Tell me what the devil's been saying to you buddy." At two a half years old he replied, "He told me that God really doesn't love me. That it's not true." Two conflicting emotions rose us within me at that point - my heart sank realizing that already Satan was working to undermine both our authority (because we're the ones who had taught him that God loves him and we know that from Scripture) and cast doubt on God's character and I found myself instantly angry! How dare Satan create in my child doubt about God's goodness, love, and trustworthiness!

I then realized for the first time the reality that as Christian parents we are engaged in warfare for our children's minds and souls. I don't tend to look at the world and my part in accomplishing God's will on earth as a battle. But that day I was reminded that there are forces at work beyond my sight, that I have no control over. And so a new dimension of parenting became very important to us. Fasting and praying.

Every  week we take one meal time (currently it's Saturday lunch) to spend time to fast and pray for our children. This dimension of warfare should not scare us but rather drive us to action. And what a blessed assurance to rest our concerns in the hands of a heavenly Father who can see so clearly both worlds.

Tattling and Matt. 18:15

"I'm telling!!! .... Daddy ...!" If you have kids old enough to know right and wrong and talk, then you've probably heard those words.

If you're like me, you get tired of hearing about every real or perceived misdemeanor. Really tired!

However, there is no verse that says, "Thou shalt not tattle." In fact, just the opposite is true. Scripture commends, even commands, reporting wrong doing to proper authorities (Lev. 5:1; Matt. 18:15-17; 1 Tim. 5:19-20).

But, there is a biblical process. The biblical process is not See a sin > report to authorities. The biblical process is see a sin > rebuke your brother (Matt. 18:15; Luke 17:3) > assist in appropriate restitution (Gal. 6:1). If the brother will not repent, then report it to 1 or 2 who are qualified to serve as arbitrators (that's us parents).

So, I implemented this process several weeks ago. I sat the boys down and had a conversation something like this:

Daddy: Boys, the Bible says, if your brother sins against you, you are to explain to him that he did wrong and ask him to repent. If he repents, you must forgive him.

Boy: So if Brother A hits me, I'm supposed to tell him he needs to repent?

Daddy: Yes, that's right. He needs to say, I'm sorry for hitting you, please forgive me. If he repents, you must forgive him.

Boy: But what if he doesn't repent?

Daddy: Then you come tell Daddy and I will deal with it. If he does repent, then you don't need to come tell me.

It seemed simple enough, but it quickly became more complex. There are certain rules that I want to know about any infraction regardless of whether there was repentance or not.

I can immediately think of ways to abuse this biblical principle: big brother hits little brother, then repents, and insists that little brother can't tell parents, OR little brother commits serious infraction, is confronted, repents, and then insists that mom and dad don't need to know about it.

I'm still working on how to explain when I need a report about wrong-doing and when I don't need a report.

Anybody figure out a clear grid that is easy for 4-7 year olds to apply? All suggestions welcome.

As you walk along the way: name calling

I overheard the boys calling each other names last evening before family worship. Viola! The topic for family worship: the image of God in us.

James 3:9-10 says, "With [our tongue] we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; 10 from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way."

I explained that God made Allan in His image, so when Daniel calls Allan names, he is actually calling God's image names.

It's like having a picture of Mommy in your hand. After you tell Mommy you love her and give her a kiss, then you take the picture and say all kinds of nasty things to it. Or you tear it up in little pieces.

How does that show that you love Mommy? It doesn't, right.

Daniel is a picture of God too. If Allan calls Daniel names, then he is calling God's image names.

I'm not sure it stuck, but it's line upon line. That's the first line, I'm sure there will be plenty of "along the way" opportunities to repeat it.

What's the most important thing in all the world?

At least once a week, sometimes more often, I ask my boys: "What's the most important thing in all the world?"

The rehearsed answer is "Loving and serving Jesus!" (cf. Deut. 6:5)

Then I ask, "What's the second most important thing in all the world?"

Answer: "Loving and serving other people." (cf. Lev. 19:18)

This simple catechism reinforces Matt. 22:37-40. There is nothing in life that does not hang upon Loving God and Loving others.

Yesterday, when I asked Daniel the first question, he ran them both together: "Loving and serving Jesus and loving other people."

When I insisted that we have to serve other people, he balked: "Why do we have to serve other people?" And that led to a discussion of Jesus as the greatest servant and his statement, "If anyone would be great among you, let him be the servant of all."